to bad it hurts to breathe

3:34pm: jesus died for his own sins, not mine
Sometimes i get the feeling you’d be better off if i was dead
But of course follows remembering the last few words you said
As i watch your lips quiver then a shrill whisper was released
You said you love me but you feel that theres some space missing between
You and i you said i drive you to the pillow in your bed
Where the tears just pour relentless and so often blood is shed
Now theres a general depression i can taste it in the air
As i gasp for reckoning in the midst of my despair
I say im feeling quite inadequate like i must cease to exist
Just to meet the daily standards that i so often forget
“You see i love you none the less though it may come as a surprise”
Creep up out the words from your heart and to your eyes
And i feel the pressing sorrow like a needle to my vein
Stops the heart with some contrast of relief and utter pain
And now i swear to you ive tired and ill continue through the days
I feel the pressing shadow slowly lifting in a haze…

I still cant ignore all this self hatred

Looking back those words came out of violence and of anger
The utter frustration never ceases it just lingers
In the back drop of the sorrow for the hatred in your eyes
As you screamed with searing passion and you meant it at the time
That you would leave to not return cos I’m a fucking drunk and pitiful
The love has now returned but that feeling I cant let go
It must have brewed some time a seemingly endless crescendo
Till’ the pressure overwhelms and the nightmares all explode
Into a whirlwind of emotions silent rage and screaming bloodshed
Holes broken through our hearts and the door between us as you said
You couldn’t take it well i cant fake it anymore its killing me
I just want to love and live but now I can barely breathe…

It is the devastation that makes together feel so full of life
The happiness means nothing with no agony or strife
The worth of holding hearts is meaningless without a void
You cant fill the full but the distressed have room to build
a life of chaos and confusion and of love hatred and demise
its all part of the cycle we’re infused to beneath our eyes
theres so much more than we see you see we need this fucking anger
it only makes the beautiful that much better when its endangered.

3:12pm: maybe you'll believe us when your backs against the wall...
We’ve settled on opinions long enough now where’s the facts?
how can we read the headlines of death and just sit back and relax?
They will claim their toll at the battle field if we fucking let them
They will continue to destroy all we’ve worked for through rebellion
The ignorance abundance has crashed down like a wave
Upon the rich upon the poor the middle and im enraged
Why cant we all care more has their apathy become contagious?
We built united forces now were destroying other nations
Unity don’t mean black and white killing together
It’s understanding all and giving chance to one another
No we don’t have to like its just to see through skin and class
Fuck the religious aspect we’ve tarnished belief at that

We fight cos they say kill they say that we’re under attack
But I look up at the sky and see no bombs theres no gun in my back
Except the figurative one that points down on all from above
If there is a god he wants nothing more than us to self destruct
And that’s one thing we’re doing well we’re shortening the life
Of everyone living or to come over money and pride
Why cant we stand together? Why do we hate so much those we’ve yet to meet?
Its fucking ignorant to fall wayside fall to your knees

We’ve settled on opinions far to long where’s the recoil?
Promises of freedom all just blundered into turmoil
Still they claim the casualties and yes I mean we claim our own
So many still would be breathing if ego was left alone
Its not the oil shit theres more its not the attack on 9/11
Its not the territory its not opposing beliefs in god and heaven
No its hell its fucking money it’s a point to prove from past
Though no death toll seams to prove it still this war will outlast
Even the people that first posed there was a problem now why still fight?
has anything been solved? No. have any wrongs been set right?
Why do we stand by idle and complacent while they murder us?
Do you see the sense in it all? Do you see now who to trust?

8:03pm: everybody happy in their ignorance and apathy
Nevermind your lies and the fabricated shit you tell me

The underlining issue is not what were told to believe

No I wont trust you because you spit out what your fed

And you seem to question nothing they implant in your head

As long as they pay well enough you will have no remorse

For the unjust things that you see and that you force

Upon innocent people who they think may know to much

Is it really a crime? Or do they just need a crutch?



What is it about the weak that make them suck the life out the strong?

Like a leach you’ve lived your life off of us and that’s wrong

Sucking all the blood from our veins and fattening up

Got a sick fucking fetish with anything corrupt



Any gain you can see you will destroy and destroy and destroy

All the nature all the people and inhabitants like it’s a toy

Till you suck the very essence out of a land and leave it dry

Our resources running thin but your pockets are heavily lined

With the pretty pretty polly that drives you fucking mad

You would sell your own son your own wife your own dad

Just for capital gain but your employees wont see a dime

They will make minimum wage for maximum time

4:22pm: heroin will be the death of me... heroin its my wife, and its my wife
The system still maintains despite our efforts at which to thwart them
Our causes we stand for now its time that we explore them
And implement the ideas and the ideals that we’ve devised
And pondered over time again now they can’t be set aside
If we don’t take action on the words that we all sing
We’ll still be subject to unfair taxes and the poverty they bring
We must stand strong all together and fight the battle in our own ways
Even the seemingly miniscule “stealing back” of the average day
Why even bitch and complain about the authorities demeanor
if you pose no interest in retaliation for a better future?
Cos its not the music or magazines that will make a fucking difference
It’s the peoples neglect to follow unjust laws and keep the opposition prevalent
We must not pay a dime without question of a cause
If you just pay the state what they ask you will experience severe loss

No this cant be happening please say it’s a joke
Weve lost all our passion to many trying to cope
With being named inferior and hiding from the police
Supposed to be there to protect us but we cower to our knees
Let em know we wont submit fuck your laws I don’t need em
Its no crime to have self rule and make your own decisions
Now its not really the people they set out to protect
Just the dollar signs that their crimes represent

The emotional brutality still flows like a storm
And I hear all of you crying and fighting to keep fed and warm
Take a handful of the impoverished and their struggles of a day
Combine them for a common cause to stop the social decay
And if they all stood strong their resistance would be like a germ
Under the skin of the system thriving and feeding like a worm
And if they never gave up we could eventually drain the nervous system
Enough of us together could turn the rule makers to the victims
But to many grow weary and turn to complacency in substance
They lose their motivation breaking links in our defense
And once again we are trampled but no regression is made
For there still stand the few and strong that wont let laws take our purpose away
The message will uphold through our network of the blatantly oppressed
Were sick and tired of diverted efforts for change and it must be addressed
A half assed job is a worthless day we must show some fucking initiative
Without a daily strive for progress I see no point to live

4:14pm: this is a record for the kids out on the street who have not got no money and got nothin left to eat
So tell me the kind of problems that make you really hate your life
Is it really world hunger politics and animal rights?
Do you really care enough about our economy
That every time a tax is raised you wanna watch it bleed?
This endless struggle is a battle against depression and oppression
Just trying to stand tall against the overbearing millions
That try to keep us down try to take our pride and laugh
But who will be laughing when were all choking on gas?
The ones that trust the system and the army to protect
our country sadly will be swinging by their fucking neck
because you’ve got it all wrong war is no fucking solution
it is its own problem its no fucking revolution
its no fucking revolution its no fucking solution
its just another problem that’s against the constitution
and were getting kinda sick of involuntarily funding
something we don’t stand for and solves fucking nothing
so we stand around and watch the clouds as the troops deploy
a little baby cries when she sees her dad as lifeless as the toy
that she holds in her hand of a soldier with a flag
he looked just like her father before he was blown to bits and rags
now a lack of smiles starts to spread like a disease
across the land across the borders across the fucking seas
theres no winner only losers when our coast’s engulfed in flames
think its bad here the other countries look the same
now its all a fucking cycle every ones finger on the trigger
the death toll started small but we’re blood thirsty and now its bigger
this race of arms is being run so fast the bystanders are all trampled
if any one speaks against the war believe they will be handled
Is there no solution? Must we really stand for this?
Protection of the homeland doesn’t even fucking exist
The only thing the army’s for is implementing death
Forced by the sergeants and generals orders from the president
terrorist groups were not the cause we knew just when and where
they would strike and just how hard we could have been prepared
like the plane that made its way toward the presidents estate
notice how quickly that threat vanished how much effort would it take
to use the satellites they use to watch me in my home and car
to protect the people but no they needed a reason to declare war
its just a fucking high school game for popularity and fame
you act is if you’ll make some change but then it stays the same
and we’re stuck with the same mother fucker for four years unless he dies
does this make since to you it doesn’t in my disgruntled eyes
the way that things are done in politics is so fucking absurd
the things they try to convince us of I wont hear another word
war is a problem not a solution war is a problem not a solution
war is a problem not a solution war is a problem and its fucking useless

1:36pm: its not my imagination, ive got a gun in my back
There’s hardly any difference anymore in living and death
There is no more reason to take another breath
Don’t care to much just what goes on every day is just the same
Oppression depression aggression another election it’s all pretty fucking lame
Don’t care to read the news today I woke up in apathy
Don’t care to fight for a future it looks pretty bleak to me
No way out and no way in were just running round a maze
Fighting for equality and freedom but only achieving being crazed
By societies negligence to these issues we make so fucking blatant
They ignore my strive for change so why should I persist?
Now we’ll see the cause and effect of our neglected demands
How much more would we be pushed around if no one took a stand?
Don’t wanna wake up or leave my bed and see all the nameless faces
Tired of the endless struggle to save these people and places
I need to maintain consciousness but I don’t even care anymore
How can I manage being so short handed fighting humanities war?

Even these days that I just want escape
Just wanna slice my wrist and fade away
somehow I manage to pick myself up
And continue this endless battle
Why can’t you do the same?

7:02pm: join the army age of 17 two years later your a killing machine
One attack on America less than 2,000 lay dead
Two buildings immersed in flames so we decide blood must be shed
So we send one million troups into the middle east fully loaded
We train them to rape the innocent kill every one return with the head
Of the leaders of every country even if they pose no threat
Because the ones that attacked us are already dead
But you know were the biggest world power
And you know we cant back down
We say were protecting the homeland
as the president wears his crown
and we slaughter these dark skinned children
that are forced to fight these wars
fourteen years old with an AK
forty pounds and covered in sores
and we wont stop the war until theres more blood no more blood for us to spill
if it was on our own soil how many would you let them kill?
But we wanna keep the violence overseas so radiation wont effect us here
The push of a button could omit countries and we wouldn’t even fucking care
Do you fucking care?
Now countless numbers of casualties
Now we’ve unleashed such a disease
80% of the army is overseas
Don’t you think the president should be impeached
But he’s still got rich supporters
Still followed by investors
Cos the longer we’re at war
The more you can tax the poor

4:25pm: weve heard of freedom, it just dont exist
Oh yea there’s a fire engulfing the countryside
Paving a path of destruction leaving nowhere to hide
From the elements of post nuclear war
Radiation and gases make you bleed from every pore
It’s the regeneration of a land that once stood tall
So proud and conceited till the day it did fall
All the architecture and roadways now smoldering ash and rubble
The end of the war is the beginning of the struggle

Were forced to rebuild we’ve all lost our stature
Our status and wealth all faded in combats rapture
We all lost children and parents and friends
Was this worth all the trouble now that you know how it ends?

The dams have all broken and flooded the streets
And killed all the livestock now we’ve nothing to eat
The bodies of the innocent pile so high
Disease is spread ramped through our water supply
The fall of a nation from first world to third
Has brought us equality and new meaning to the word
Well the rich can’t survive anymore off the poor
Can we stand together now that we’ve all lost the war?

Were forced to rebuild we’ve all lost our stature
Our status and wealth all faded in combats rapture
We all lost children and parents and friends
Was this worth all the trouble now that you know how it ends?

9:34am: kiss ass while you bitch so you can get rich but your boss gets richer off you
Gather your young, the bombs have dropped
Hide in the midst of rubble the troops have now deployed
Look at the blood that rains from the sky
So much chaos and destruction were left in a void
Count your limbs cos flesh and bones cover the ground
Try to stay still and don’t make a fucking sound
Enemy troops have us covered quite well
This scenario provides an accurate depiction of hell
You think this isn’t fair? This attack with no mercy
Not picking heads out the crowd they wanna kill us all
Weve been doing it for years bound to happen on our territory
Watch out for the shrapnel don’t get hit, don’t fall

Is there a point to the fight? Whats left if we survive?
A vacant countryside? Don’t you feel so alive?

Smoke and gas and radiation overcome the oxygen
Already we begin to witness the post nuclear mutation
The dead and the living don’t contrast anymore
The rich and respected now blend with drug dealers and whores
Were all zombies with nothing left but a fight to survive
No more banks no more police no more grocery stores
Now theres a point to be alive
We’ve been destroyed till were equals with bullets and gore
Is this what it takes for our people to unite?
Cant get along till we’ve all lost the fight
I cant say I feel sorry for our prior world power
We deserved every bit of this nuclear shower

10:50am: we wave that flag of freedom as we conquer and invade
The condition of humanity is frail and depleting
We cant stand together if were too busy competing
For fucking paper with the heads of dead presidents
We hate it but we need it, we gotta pay the rent
I don’t care how much you make your better than me that’s fine
Just keep it to yourself and stay out of my life
I don’t care to converse with the jealous or proud
Im too busy surviving and trying to stay off the ground
So that I wont get trampled by the rats in the maze
All chasing the cheese I just look for the escape
Cos with one million rats and just a few payouts
The ratio itself really gives me some doubts
On the validity of the promise of pay for my worth
Ive seen greedy fucking bastards make more for less work
The physical laborers paid minimum wage
Thought it was abolished but still feel like a slave

I imagine a place with no corruption or greed
Where hands lend themselves to anyone in need
Regardless of color, class, education or belief
no one should starve if we have plenty to eat
but this place don’t exist except at the show
where the music plays loud, the unity will grow
all the kids in the pit lifting eachother up
and screaming in unison “we’ll never give up”

but we are getting tired and sometimes we feel week
so we must carry eachother though the future looks bleak…

4:51pm: i give you money, you give me death, you think its funny, i gasp for breath
What is the difference in religion and war?
Seems to be the two things we all wanna die for
Such strong beliefs in such intangible things
This I cant comprehend, I need someone to explain
Why we put so much faith in leaders we’ve never met
We just hear what they read from the speech writers pen
And they choose what questions they want to ignore
“please don’t ask what were doing to help the poor
All the attention right now we must keep overseas
Don’t you understand our soldiers are in need?”
Fuck you mr president fuck your militant plan
What do you pose we do to protect the home land?
I haven’t heard any news on how we’re feeding our own
But I always see commercials 3rd world children need homes
Yea I remember the homeland security bill
But I don’t remember any positives just rights that you killed

one nation under Bush one nation under god
One nation under money one nation under fraud
One nations collapse will be self inflicted
If we don’t protect our people from government sickness
One nation under Bush one nation under god
One nation under money one nation under fraud
One nations decay will be brought on
By our own neglect by our own guns

Things aren’t going quite as well as we hoped for
In the middle east time to up our force
If you don’t want a draft son you better join now
Cos all who have volunteered are getting plowed
Recruiters are paid to promise you things
Like “no you’ll never have to fight you just need to be trained
You will just sit at a desk and you’ll be paid”
But as soon as basic is done you’ll be sent to be slain
Does the government care if you have children at home?
To them your still expendable as if you were alone

11:06am: if there was a god he probably would be hated...
If your opinion and the system is our only solution
To the conflict at hand then we need a revolution
But you treat us as if we were a plague
Lock us up in “housing projects” to keep us away
If industry and politics are your resolution
To these problems like war, starvation and pollution
We need to turn the tables time to make a change
Because corruption and greed only keep things the same

If you just keep on doing the exact same thing
Expecting different results then your fucking insane
Keep appointing rich men we’ll live by laws of greed
While they ignore the people and laugh while we bleed

When mcdonalds and walmart are our countries two religions
It makes it difficult to make a decision
On what you will follow, and who you’ll believe
Claim whatever you want my only god is me
Separation of church and state’s the biggest contradiction
Theres no place for beliefs when your dealing with a system
Trying to govern a people that can never agree
We need to tear away our idols (money) and all deities
Cos your worshiping things that I know don’t exist
If there was a god would the world be like this?
And if united we stand why do so many lay dead?
Walk the battle fields yourself and try to keep your head
This depiction of our leaders dying feels like bliss
In my dreams I watch congress members names build a list
Of those fallen for the country all written in red
It’s a beautiful site to witness their blood shed

If you just keep on doing the exact same thing
Expecting different results then your fucking insane
Keep appointing rich men we’ll live by laws of greed
While they ignore the people and laugh while we bleed

5:14pm: did you hear what they wanted to do to me they wanna take away my social security...
You traded your life for a false sense of pride
You dropped out of school and signed on the line
Picked up a gun and put it on your side
You wanted to kill but instead you will die
They promise you money and benefits galore
But before they kick in they send you to war
Thought basic was hell son you don’t have a clue
Just wait till you taste blood as the bullet goes through
Your chest and your leg and your arm is this worth?
The respect that you wanted and they say that you’ve earned
They give you a badge of honor to compensate
For the bullets you took and the blood that you gave

So now aren’t you glad that you’re a patriot?
A slave to the army there’s no way to quit
Your tired and weak you cant take anymore
But you cant escape… this is war

Now you’ve served your country boy the president is proud
You stood in line with the rest until you got shot down
And in three more months when you rehabilitate
He’ll send you right back cos this contract you cant break
Just march into battle with terror in your eyes
better write your family might not come back this time
but don’t worry the country will gladly pay
to put you in the ground and give you a grave
your family can visit and leave little flags
on top of your casket filled with bricks and your name tags
cos no one returns quite the same as the go
they just come back ashes and pieces of bone

So now aren’t you glad that you’re a patriot?
A slave to the army there’s no way to quit
Your tired and weak you cant take anymore
Only escape is death… this is war

5:13pm: relax in the ignorence of your home, as man destroys mankind
The casualty counts are in today; and the whole worlds in disbelief
These rising numbers accrue so quick; its so astonishing
Such a sad count for American; mothers sons and fathers
But you cheer for the count of the enemies; civilians soldiers and daughters

Fifteen young Americans; died this morning and we all cried
but you stood tall as you announced; 15,000 Iraqis died
the second we dropped the bombs in hopes; that we would kill one man
hopefully he is in range? Is this your fucked up plan? (fuck your plan)

So terrorism is a threat or attack on America’s shores
But when we destroy the homes of millions we just call it war
But it doesn’t make it right to kill just because its for your country
Americas the fucking terrorist and the situations getting ugly

If you just keep killing your followers; sending them all over seas
Who is gonna protect us; when our countries under siege
When you kill off all the morons; that you’ve got on their knees
Who the fuck is gonna protect us; cos I wont join the army
And im quite sure that you’ve done enough; by now you’ll get no support
Cant you hear the people screaming “stop this fucking war”
Were all kinda sick of the dying; and we don’t even know what its for
An attack made 6 fucking years ago? Is your ego still that sore?

So terrorism is a threat or attack on America’s shores
But when we destroy the homes of millions we just call it war
But it doesn’t make it right to kill just because its for your country
Bush is the fucking terrorist and the situations getting ugly

Were all getting tired of feeding soldiers while our children just starve
Were all getting tired of the rising price of oil shits getting hard
Were all getting tired of the countless lies you fill our heads with everyday
Were all getting tired of this fucking war. Tired of doing what you say

12:46pm: sweet lovely death, i am waiting for your breath, come sweet death, one last caress
We are lacking understanding
Of the fucking situation
That prevails our decomposing
In to fucking complication
We are fighting for the freedom
Of the people you neglected
This wont make a fucking difference
If our demands are rejected

But we wont give up until our voice is finally heard
Our Democratic Republic wont listen to a fucking word
This two party system vote for corruption or for greed
There is no good choice to get our people out of need
Besides who counts the votes where’s our proof who really won?
So much overpopulation into the grounds the only place to run
So throw away your vote and chose who’s lies that you will buy
I cant afford to have a say the price is just to high

Nothing ever gets better
Ive only seen it get worse
“freedom” doesn’t matter
Politicians are a fucking curse

So I wont stand in line every four years to pick a leader
Every politician placed in the system makes us weaker
Just one more selfish opinion with more control than mine
Can’t raise minimum wage but 30 more thousand a year for you is fine
“keep the trash on the streets” seems to be your true objective
You need us more than we need you but you’ve made most lose this perspective
So were still segregated the rich have rights the poor have jail
You think you’ve got the media locked but through us the truths unveiled

Nothing ever gets better
Ive only seen it get worse
“freedom” doesn’t matter
Politicians belong… in a fucking hearse

5:29pm: i live my life FULL CIRCLE
its time that we take back
every thing you stole from us
you tax us on our wages
and tax with every purchase
then make us pay the state
to harrass and arrest us
just for doing the things
we do to cope with your calloused
inverted way of thinking
supress the workers kill the poor
you need us to survive
we do the work; you get paid more
for breaking all our backs
but now i wont be your whore
im not a fucking rat
wont run this maze prepare for war

you cheat and steal and kill and lie
and media poisons the publics mind
but we wont submit, (no) so dont even try
you may have brainwashed a few but fucker im not blind

its time we get the truth
tell us where our money goes
cant afford to feed my baby
while your bank account just grows
half my fucking check is gone
they say they've "gotta build more roads"
let me keep the little money i worked for
pay for the shit on your own

ignorence and oblivious
fuck that time to take it back
corrupt and thats fucked up
were under paid your under attack

you cheat and steal and kill and lie
and media poisons the publics mind
but we wont submit, (no) so dont even try
you may have brainwashed a few but fucker im not blind
i wont be your slave
i wont dig my own grave
but ill dig one for you
cos fuck you... your time is through!

9:22pm: in case anyone cares... im still alive, very happily married, and having a beautiful baby boy Bradly Jay Oz due October 10th. other than that, shits still the same. well except off dope.

1:28am: repitition
your open casket
takes shape of a heart
a tear melts the ice away
now im torn apart
ive seen this a thousand times
when will it end?
i hope i go just as gracefuly
as you did my friend

with a spring in my step still
and a gun in my mouth
chasing the bottle of pills
and the gin that chased em' down
now im down on my luck
you i feel down and out
and i fell down the stairs
now my thoughts are seeping out

from this whole in my face
strategicly placed, to wash you away
no i wont be hearing again from my brain
nor the phone cos im jumping this train
cos i feel down and out
seeing you underground
i know you cant hear the sound
but im crying to you so loud

your closing casket
seals with it the time
now im stuck in devistation
for the rest of my life
i just wish i could have said goodbye
i wish you werent drawn to the light
i wish that you stayed in sight
but ill see you again, by the end of the night...

this train will take me
and lead me so far away
bring me back to you
back to your shinning face
cos these same tracks
are where you took your life
and the track marks on my arms
have been disconnected with your knife

3:37am: drinking the last fucking beer in the place
and im wishing i had the bottle
of gin that you shattered across my broken face
i think one more would drown the sorrow
but so far, nothing has helped
no even my trusted perscription failed
believe me, this isnt the first time
i go through this shit every night...


...............................to be continued

12:31am: different this time


tried to wash you, away with tears
and bleed myself dry to relinquish fears
theres nothing left underneath, that old rusted sink
and theres nothing left in the cabinets to drink
all the things ive thought
and words ive said
never amounted to anything
in your head

but all the things i said, you said where lies
and you said when you left i would be just fine
but im not right now, its not a game
just like the stupid boy that you left last May
but then again that was me
im different this time
you wouldnt believe
but i swear i wouldnt lie

and im writing you now
not in hope
that you'd come back to me
just a way i cope
with these fucked up thoughts
cos im distraught
i swear i didnt mean it that way
i didnt mean a fucking thing

no i didnt mean a fucking thing to you anyway

but you wouldnt believe me
said im to unstable
cant take care of myself
how could i take care of you?
you said that im to fucked up
its not me its just the chemicals
now theres nothing left inside of me
i killed it all and now im just empty

so how can i miss you so bad?
how could i hurt myself like that?

11:58pm: intertwined in a garden of stone



ive been throwing myself
into this wishing well
for a human garden
where we plant the forgotten
and they sprout up stones
with words gone unknown
to all of the people you've met
an unnoticed engraved epitaph
such a misleading story
that blossumes quite boring
forgetting to mention
how pointless we've become
my wish has gone unanswered
these seeds lack any transfer
to transcend daylights unfertile soil
and sprout with abscence of daytimes turmoil

i found a glimmer of hope in these starlit cemitaries
but inadiquite light, and paths of gravel cease
to bear what i think that i came here to find
because none of the ghosts that i found look like you and im so fucking tired

6:10am: its true...
Stained In Satin
Alkaline Trio



it's not so much a storm
but just a cloud that lives inside of me
he doesn't disturb so easily these days
but when he wakes he goes the distance.
in a marathon it takes too long
open containers that sing songs
you'll never dream again
but you can pray

i guess we only settle in to what we know
i guess we always settle in, we know.
but there is comfort in a world
where darkness is the only thing we see
and cold is all we have to breathe
where expectations keep us company
with the light we take to the outside
will it die? i somehow hide of out control.
(we lost control).

it's not about the sky
or the clouds that walk all over me
they don't give up too easily these days
but when they break they go to pieces.
for a pond blood here in north set barns
under a sky that knows no stars
you'll never shine again
but you will stay.

1:08am: you see right through my emptyness
those thunderstorms in your head
they are all wasted
im still to much impulsive
these chemicals are to much imperitive
ive just been here to many nights
ive been alone since you left
i feel so sick but thats alright
its been 12 days since ive slept

i still want you ... to love me just like you do
(just not from this fucking far away)
i promise i ... will try to stay alive
(if you will come back to me)

these static nightmares in my head
they are so useless
your still to much deeply depressive
these chemicals are to much imperitive
youve just been gone to many nights
we've both been alone since you left
you feel so lost but thats alright
its been so long since we've both slept

together till the nightmares fade
clinging close like selifane
in a world of darkness blood and rain
with dreams of chemicals and trains

-floating through our fucking heads-

2:39am: sleeping in to see your smile
tonight at waffle house i was talking about looking for a job and some guy at the next both said "you scared of heights?" i said no why and he explained and gave me a number to call to get a job building cell phone towers. its 12 bucks an hour, plenty of hours, traveling a little, but thats cool, plus im gonna be working outside 300 feet in the air. both of the guys seemed pretty cool, tattoo's and piercings and such, so this is looking pretty good. hopefully it will show prospect. it seems like some of the static is at bay right now, and hopefully before it all comes crashing down again, ill be up on my feet.




a dirty spoon on the floor is not in vain
yea it went in my veins
but just to ease the pain
and some sickness between
between you and me
i swear i didnt mean it that way

i know i swore it wouldnt happen
no no not again like this
but you know how sick
that i tend to get
...sometimes

a razorblade in the bath is not in vain
yea it disconnected my veins
but just to release the pain
and some static between
between you and me
i swear i didnt mean it that way

so please stay for a while
at least through the night
because it might be the last
one that i spend alive
and in a way its like the first
cause im not frozen anymore
so please just hold me untill i fade
away for good so i wont be so sore

i swear i didnt mean it this way

2:27am: i still fucking love these lyrics
Third Eye Blind - Slow Motion



Miss Jones taught me English
But I think I just shot her son
'Cause he owed me money
With a bullet in the chest you cannot run
Now he's bleeding in a vacant lot
The one in the summer where we used to smoke pot
I guess I didn't mean it
But man, you shoulda seen it
His flesh explode

Slow motion see me let go
We tend to die young
Slow motion see me let go
What a brother knows
Slow motion see me let go

Now the cops will get me
But girl, if you would let me
I'll take your pants off
I got a little bit of blow we could both get off
Later bathing in the afterglow
Two lines of coke I cut with Drano
And her nose starts to bleed
A most beautiful ruby red

Slow motion see me let go
We'll remember these days
Slow motion see me let go
Urban life decays
Slow motion see me let go

And at home
My sister's eating paint chips again
Maybe that's why she's insane
I shut the door to her moaning
And I shoot smack in my veins
Wouldn't you?
See my neighbor's beating his wife
Because he hates his life
There's a knock to his fist as he swings
Oh man, what a beautiful thing
And death slides close to me
Won't grow old to be
A junkie wino creep

Hollywood glamorized my wrath
I'm a young urban psychopath
I incite murder for your entertainment
'Cause I needed the money
What's your excuse?
The joke's on you

Slow motion see me let go
Oh yeah
Slow motion see me let go
Slow motion see me let go